Thanksgiving is just a little more than a week away, which basically means this is the time of year where everyone is not only thinking about and talking about food, but literally planning a whole day AROUND food.
And I’m not going to lie, Thanksgiving is probably my absolute favorite holiday, but when you’re in the middle of a journey to lose weight and get healthy, it can also be a challenging time.
And while a couple of weeks ago I shared some helpful strategies for making it through the holiday season without going totally off the rails with your health plan, today I wanted to focus on a topic that can be challenging even when you THINK you have a good plan in place.
Food Pushers.
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I think every family has at least one, and sometimes it’s enough to make you want to scream, right?
In fact, it can make sticking to your healthy eating plan feel almost impossible, which is why in today’s blog post, I want to talk about how to handle those situations with grace and confidence, and without losing your mind.
Hey there, and welcome back to the Thinlicious blog! My name is Ruth Soukup, and I am the founder of Thinlicious and the Thin Adapted System, as well as the New York Times bestselling author of 7 books.
I am also a forty-something year old woman who knows EXACTLY how hard it can be to lose weight and get healthy, because I struggled with it for a long time.
And if you’re new to this blog, then you may not know my whole story, but the short version is that I spent years and years and years trying to lose weight and get healthy, and I tried everything. I did all the diets. I drank all the shakes. I counted all the calories. I joined weight watchers. I went to the gym. I hired a personal trainer. I did the Fat Flush diet. I went vegan. I did the keto diet. I even did the cabbage soup diet.
And I always felt like I was failing, because no matter what I did, I could never stick with it. I’d always lose a few pounds and then gain it all back. And it was SO FRUSTRATING.
And maybe you can relate, because it’s so easy to feel like it’s your fault. Like you’re just not trying hard enough. Or you don’t have enough willpower. Or you’re just not strong enough to stick with it.
And then one day I finally decided that I was DONE. I was done with all the diets that weren’t working. I was done with beating myself up. I was done with feeling like crap. I was done with feeling like I was a failure.
And I decided to do something different. I decided to do my own research and really try to understand the science of weight loss and metabolism and how the food we eat affects our bodies. And I decided to change my lifestyle, not for a month or for a year, but forever.
And it worked. I lost 40 pounds and I have kept it off for several years now, without ever dieting or counting calories or going back to what I now call the “standard american diet.” And not only that, I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. I have more energy. I sleep better. I don’t get sick. I don’t have aches and pains. I don’t get heartburn. I don’t get bloated. I don’t get migraines. I don’t get hangry. And I think that’s why I’m so passionate about this, and about helping other women get healthy and lose weight the same way I did.
Because I know what it’s like to struggle with your weight and with food. And if that’s something you’re dealing with, then I want you to know that there IS a better way. You DON’T have to keep struggling. And it’s not your fault. You just need to educate yourself and understand the science behind it all, so that you can make an informed decision about what’s going to be best for YOUR body.
And honestly, that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to write this blog post, because I know that one of the biggest struggles for a lot of women is dealing with the people in your life who just don’t get it. Who don’t understand why you’re choosing to make your health a priority. Who don’t understand why you’re choosing to eat a certain way. Who don’t understand why you’re NOT choosing to eat the way that you used to.
And it can be really hard. It can be hard to feel like you’re being judged. It can be hard to feel like people are trying to sabotage you. It can be hard to feel like you’re being left out or that you’re not part of the group. It can be hard to feel like you’re having to defend your choices all the time.
And so I want to talk about that today. I want to talk about how to deal with those food pushers and the people in your life who just don’t get it, without losing your mind. Because the truth is, it doesn’t have to be so hard. And you CAN stick to your healthy eating plan, no matter what anyone else says or does.
But before we dive into that, there is one quick thing I want to mention, and that is that if you are new to this blog and to Thinlicious, and to this way of eating that we talk about a lot on this blog, then I have put together a really great free resource for you that I think you’ll find super helpful.
It’s called Flip the Switch, and it’s basically a Quick Start Guide that is PACKED with all the good stuff you need to know to really understand how our program works and why it works, and how to get started with it in a way that is actually going to set you up for success.
It’s really, really good, and like I said, it’s free, so all you have to do to get it is go HERE to get it.
Alright, so with that out of the way, let’s talk about how to deal with food pushers without losing your mind. And honestly, I think the first thing you have to realize is that food pushers are everywhere, and they come in all shapes and sizes.
Sometimes it’s your friends, who just don’t get why you’re choosing to eat a certain way, or who feel like your new healthy lifestyle is somehow a judgment on their own choices. Sometimes it’s your family, who can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that you don’t want to eat the same things you used to eat. Sometimes it’s your co-workers, who are constantly bringing in donuts and cake and pizza. Sometimes it’s the waiter at your favorite restaurant, who just can’t understand why you don’t want to order the pasta or the bread or the dessert. Sometimes it’s the person sitting next to you on the airplane, who can’t seem to stop offering you all the snacks. Sometimes it’s even your kids, who don’t understand why you won’t let them have the cereal or the pop tarts or the mac and cheese.
But no matter who it is, or where it’s coming from, it can be really hard to deal with, and it can be really hard to stick to your guns and not give in, especially if you’re feeling tired or stressed or overwhelmed or just not in the mood to have to defend your choices.
But the truth is, you don’t HAVE to defend your choices. You don’t HAVE to explain yourself. You don’t HAVE to give in. You don’t HAVE to let other people’s opinions and judgments and pushiness get the best of you.
Because the reality is that what other people think or say or do has absolutely no power over you, unless you let it. And I think that’s the first thing you have to realize, is that YOU are in control. You get to choose what you eat and what you don’t eat. You get to choose how you respond to other people. You get to choose how you feel.
And I know that can be easier said than done, especially if you’re someone who tends to be a people pleaser, or if you’ve struggled with your weight for a long time, or if you have a lot of emotional baggage around food. But it’s SO important to really understand that you are in control, and that you have the power to change your thoughts and your feelings and your actions.
And honestly, that’s the second thing you have to do, is to really work on changing your thoughts and your feelings about the situation, so that you can respond in a way that feels good to you, and that allows you to stay true to your goals and your values.
Because the reality is that most of the time, when someone is pushing food on you, it’s not actually about the food. It’s about THEM. It’s about their own insecurities and their own issues. It’s about the fact that they don’t feel good about themselves, so they want to try to bring you down to their level. It’s about the fact that they don’t want to be the only one eating the donuts or the cake. It’s about the fact that they feel threatened by your choices, because it makes them question their own choices.
And once you can really understand that, it becomes a lot easier to respond in a way that is both confident and empathetic. Because the truth is, most of the time, the person who is pushing food on you is not actually trying to hurt you or sabotage you. They’re just trying to make themselves feel better. And once you can see that, it becomes a lot easier to have some compassion and understanding for where they’re coming from.
So let’s talk about some practical tips for how to deal with food pushers in a way that allows you to stay true to your goals and your values, without losing your mind.
Tip #1: Be Confident in Your Choices
The first tip is to be confident in your choices. And I know that can be easier said than done, especially if you’re new to this way of eating, or if you’re still struggling with your weight, or if you have a lot of emotional baggage around food. But the reality is that confidence is a choice. You get to choose to be confident, even if you don’t always feel that way.
And one of the best ways to do that is to really take the time to educate yourself, not just about the science behind our program and why it works, but also about the science of weight loss and metabolism, and about how the food we eat affects our bodies. Because the more you understand, the more confident you will be in your choices, and the easier it will be to respond to other people in a way that feels good to you.
And honestly, that’s one of the reasons I put together that free guide that I mentioned earlier, because I know that the more you can educate yourself and really understand how this all works, the more confident you will be in your choices, and the more likely you will be to stick with it.
So that’s the first thing—really take the time to educate yourself and get confident in your choices.
Tip #2: Set Boundaries
The second tip for dealing with food pushers is to set boundaries. And this is something that a lot of us struggle with, especially if you’re someone who tends to be a people pleaser, or if you’ve been in the habit of just going along with what everyone else wants, even if it’s not what you want.
But the reality is that setting boundaries is SO important, not just for your own mental and emotional health, but also for your physical health and well-being. Because the truth is that no one else is going to set those boundaries for you. You have to do it for yourself.
And that might mean saying no to certain foods, or saying no to certain situations, or saying no to certain people. And I know that can be really hard, especially if it’s your family or your friends or your co-workers. But the reality is that if they truly care about you, they will respect your boundaries. And if they don’t, then that says a lot more about them than it does about you.
So that’s the second tip—set boundaries and stick to them.
Tip #3: Have a Plan
The third tip for dealing with food pushers is to always have a plan. And what I mean by that is to always know ahead of time what you’re going to say or do in certain situations, so that you’re not caught off guard or feeling flustered or overwhelmed.
And honestly, this is something that I think a lot of us don’t do, because we tend to think that we can just wing it or go with the flow. But the reality is that when it comes to food, and especially when it comes to dealing with food pushers, it’s always best to have a plan.
So for example, if you’re going to a party or a social event or Thanksgiving dinner, and you know that there will be a lot of food pushers there, then have a plan for what you’re going to say when they offer you something. It could be something as simple as “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now,” or “no thanks, I don’t eat that.” Or you could even just say “no thanks” and leave it at that.
But the key is to have a plan, and to stick to it, no matter what. Because the reality is that most of the time, the food pushers will back off as long as you’re confident and consistent in your response.
So that’s the third tip—always have a plan.
Tip #4: Offer to Bring Your Own Food
The fourth tip for dealing with food pushers is to offer to bring your own food. And this is something that I think a lot of us are afraid to do, because we don’t want to be seen as high maintenance or difficult. But the reality is that most of the time, people will be more than happy to let you bring your own food, especially if you offer to share.
Luckily most people hosting Thanksgiving dinner want and expect everyone else to bring at least a dish or two to share, so you can feel free to go a little overboard and make sure that there will be plenty of great options for you to choose from.
And not only will this take the pressure off of you to find something to eat, but it will also show your host that you care, and that you’re making an effort to be a part of the group, even if you’re not eating the same things.
So that’s the fourth tip—offer to bring your own food.
Tip #5: Find an Accountability Partner
And the fifth and final tip for dealing with food pushers is to find an accountability partner. And this is something that I think is SO important, especially when you’re first starting out on this journey.
Because the reality is that it’s a lot easier to stick to your healthy eating plan when you have someone else who is going through it with you, and who can help you stay on track, and who can support you and encourage you, and who can remind you of your goals and your values, and who can help you come up with a plan for dealing with food pushers.
And it doesn’t have to be someone in real life. It could be a friend or family member who lives far away. Or it could be someone in an online community or a facebook group. Or it could even be a coach or a mentor. But the key is to find someone who has your back, and who can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with food pushers.
So those are my five tips for dealing with food pushers–be confident in your choices, set boundaries, have a plan, offer to bring your own food, and find an accountability partner.
And honestly, I think the more you can focus on being confident and consistent in your responses, and the more you can focus on taking care of yourself and setting boundaries, the easier it will be to deal with food pushers, and the more likely you will be to stick to your healthy eating plan, no matter what anyone else says or does.
